For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. - James 3:7-8
I have said some nasty things. I have hurt other people’s feelings. I have had regrets. I have held grudges and blurted out whatever I felt after letting it boil for a time. I have been devious. I have been unkind. I have said many things that I wished I’d never said. Truly, it is God’s grace and mercy that has followed me all the days of my life. Because of His gracious will to forgive me freely, I have time to improve my behavior and move forward.
We all have had times when we don’t want to hold back our words for fear of hurting someone’s pride or feelings. Sometimes, it’s that last word that would perfect the argument or the small, yet piercing comment that would shut the entire conversation down. But is it really worth it? Is your time really worth arguing or fighting over anything? Does it matter who gets the last word or says the most mean comment?
God did not create us to bicker or fight or have wars with one another. Our purpose for being created is to serve and worship Him through His son, Jesus Christ. Our purpose for being planted on this earth is to walk in our own purpose to carry out any assignments that He gives us. Our purpose for being created is to live holy. There is nothing righteous about spitting out harsh comments at one another. We were born to serve and do everything for the glory of God, not be ugly, as my grandmother would say.
So how do we fix ourselves? How to we refresh everything we have done and make it better. After a fresh, hot, and “ratchet” argument, what then? Do we continue to sit and bake in our anger and frustration? It is only human to be upset, but the Lord outlines in the Holy Bible several things to keep in mind:
- Be angry and sin not (Ephesians 4:26).
Just because we are upset does not give us permission to react in a mean way.
- Speak with a soft answer (Proverbs 15:1).
As some people say, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.”
- He [God] gave us a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
Self-control comes from the Lord. He did not create us to be reckless.
- We must be dead to sin and alive in Christ (Romans 6:11).
Saying and doing evil things should not be a part of our everyday living.
- Do not repay anyone evil for evil (Romans 12:17).
Although some people can be unkind, we must not give place to the devil and be the same.
- Turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39).
There are more scriptures to fit controlling one’s anger and being careful with the words we say. Our Lord is forgiving but He commands us to be obedient to His will. I struggle sometimes with offense, but I am always practicing after righteousness. I yearn to do better for my life and if I keep falling, I fight that much harder to do better.
Jesus knows our struggles more than anyone else, which is why He is merciful. He knows that we are fragile; however, He gave us precepts to follow. Because He implanted within all of us a sound mind, we have the ability to humble ourselves and be obedient to His commandments. Many times, pride will stop us from living within His will. We get annoyed with God when we have to change. If you’re like me, sometimes I ask, Well how come ____ doesn’t have to change? I focus on what the other person isn’t doing. That is a distraction. We must lower our pride and not “think higher of ourselves than we ought to think” (Romans 12:3). We all have to stand before the Lord on judgment day. Nevertheless, we must focus on our own path and obey the Lord’s instructions.
Our tongues are tiny, but can drive our lives up- or downhill. What we say, we tend to attract. The Bible says that no man can tame the tongue (James 3:8), but guess what? God can.
“For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.”
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